Roman’s Rants: SuperPhaserFund invests $123 million in eEeZangoozle

Sounds familiar? Alright, disclaimer first: Sometimes, a compulsive ranter needs to even rant about himself and the business he’s working in – at least partly. I’m talking about startup journalism, or to be more precise, this type of journalism that only echoes sums of money invested from A in B.  That’s so fucking annoying!

Of bloody course money is what makes the world go round and fuels businesses all over the world in their important growth periods. Without considerable investments from the respective companies, the modern web world would look totally different. It is hard to imagine that someone like Zuckerberg could have bootstrapped something like Facebook – imagine him paying his coders by delivering pizzas or waitering. Zalando would have never been able to pull of their category-killer strategy without the substantial help of Tengelmann, Holtzbrinck and Kinnevik.

Let’s take the latter as an example: The interesting questions that need to be asked and anwered to provide real news could be: Why did all those companies invest in a Zappos clone? What does this tell us about the risk awareness of these companies? Are they likely to do something similar again? Can we deduce a general trend from this? Can those business models attributed to some larger “meta” themes that we will see in the future? Or, with regard to the recent OTTO engagement: Why is there so much hustle and bustle at the moment, why does a big retail dinosaur like this gets excited about investing all of a sudden? Also highly entertaining: Who did really screw up? What was totally over- or undervalued? – See? These are the things I’d like to read about; if you have nothing more to say that there was a certain flow of money, leave me the hell alone!

You might argue that for potential investors it is interesting to see what goes on money-transfer wise to be inspired to do something similar. This would be true if investing in a company would only be about the investor and the investee (can you say something like this?) having dinner together, and at the end of a boozy evening a big fat cheque making its way across the table. The reality is that it takes weeks, months and even years in some cases until those deals are finalised. In other words: If you read about those investments, some bright heads have thought about those things in the past already and you’re too fucking late!

There you have it. I know that this rant will kick me in the arse in the future and I’ll be getting some flak from journalist colleagues for it. Sorry, cannot help it!

(Image by AMagill)

About Roman Zenner
Ich bin ich

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